Talking about sex on a first date can be a sensitive and complex subject. Or it can be fun. No matter what you sit, either as someone who enjoys sex on a first date or you'd rather engage a little further into knowing the person, there's no right or wrong way. Here's how to discuss it, though.
Open communication, with a twist.
Talking is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, even in its earliest stages. Discussing sex on a first date can feel daunting, but ensuring all parties are on the same page regarding their boundaries and expectations is very important. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, known for his extensive research on relationships, emphasizes the importance of honest and respectful communication. He suggests that building trust from the outset can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling connection.
Pick a comfortable spot.
Creating a safe space for discussing sex involves setting the right tone and ensuring both parties feel comfortable. Admittedly, text or a call can suffice if you're comfortable asking.
Choose your timing.
While it's important to be open, ensure that the conversation arises naturally rather than feeling forced. Look for cues from your date and choose a moment when both of you are engaged and relaxed.
Choose your language.
Be mindful of your language and ensure it is inclusive and non-judgmental. Phrases like "How do you feel about..." or "What are your thoughts on..." can open the door to a respectful dialogue.
Approaching the topic of sex on a first date requires sensitivity, respect, and open communication. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that both parties feel valued, understood, and comfortable, paving the way for a healthy and meaningful connection.
“The more we trust, the farther we are able to venture.”
– Esther Perel